My Life at 9200 rpm's: Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you

     Satchel Paige said it.  I believe it.  I have tried to practice it and have found that it works.  He pitched baseball for a living first in the Negro leagues and later as a major league pitcher.  Joe DiMaggio once said that Paige was the best pitcher he ever faced.

      Paige's pitching philosophy was: Throw the ball wherever you want. Home plate don't move...Just keep the ball away from the wide part of the bat.

     To those who said he threw illegal pitches, he said "I never threw an illegal pitch.  The trouble is, once in a while I toss one that's never been seen by this generation."

    The over-the-shoulder second guessing we all do from time to time can lead to an exaggerated focus on stuff you cannot do anything about.  So, if you cannot do anything about it, why get into a snit over it?   Satchel Paige's answer was not to look back because something might be lurking. Something he could do nothing about except worry.  Instead, look forward. Live in the moment.

     Easier said than done, you say. I agree but keep on keeping on.

     Take the LVAD, a mechanical medical marvel. Is it a disability? I don't think of having a mechanical circulatory assist device as a disability. That would be seeing the glass as half empty. 

     Having an LVAD is an opportunity and a second chance at life.  There are those who hide their wires, batteries, and gear.  I'm not one of them.

     I flaunt mine to raise awareness of LVADs. My flaunting is not a show of ostentation. I do it because flaunting attracts questions.  Questions raise issues.  Questions require answers. Together they raise awareness.

     I wear spandex and nylon shirt with holsters built-in. My wires are visible and obvious.  Questions arise. The bulges of the batteries in the holsters provoke more questions.

     "What are you packing in those holsters?" I'm commonly asked, ".45s?"

     "No," I respond, "I have a heart pump that operates on two 14-volt, lithium ion batteries.  I carry the batteries in an undercover police shirt that has holster-pockets under my arms that hold them snugly just like .45s."  

     Usually inquisitive people I encounter get a chuckle when I draw one of the batteries, which weigh over a pound and measure 4x9x1 inches. It is as big as a handgun. I get an inkling of recognition when I mention Vice President Chaney's LVAD.

     I also carry a spare pair of fully charged batteries and a spare computer controller in what looks like a camera bag.  Fortunately the bag has a show-and-tell luggage tag displaying the arrangement of the components and pump, which makes a good talking device.  

     The luggage tag from the maker, Thoratec Inc., shows the placement of the pump, wires, and batteries in color.  Most people have not heard of LVADs and the biggest surprise is that the pump is permanently implanted inside me. 

     "No," I say, "I cannot take it out at night or ever."

     From my perspective, there is a significant information gap in the general population's awareness of congestive heart failure, its impact on tens of thousands of lives, and the benefits of LVADs.

     Don't misunderstand.  With all that everyone has to deal with nowadays and the pace of life in general, we are all deficient in our awareness of many things, including me.   

     When I was life flighted to Mayo Clinic, my first exposure to an LVAD was when I was shown the device by an LVAD coordinator. Much to her chagrin, I said it looked like a piece of plumbing hardware that might have come out of a toilet. 

     Clearly, I don't have the answers and don't even know many of the questions.  

     But the essential reason I'm carrying on in this forum is to try to raise awareness for CHF sufferers.  I want to broadcast the message, "You don't have to suffer as you have."  

     LVADs are not a panacea and won't solve all CHF problems but it is an appropriate and effective method of reclaiming your life.

     So I'm a fan of LVADs, particularly #8358, the serial number of my left ventricular assist device, manufactured by Thoratec Inc. of Pleasanton, California. You might say I'm a lifelong fan.  If I'm not fortunate to receive the gift of a new heart, my LVAD should keep me in good stead.

     I learned recently that there is a group called LVAD Warriors that offer support and respect for LVADs, their "wingmen" and families.  They have a site on Facebook. 

     One of the things the group does to raise LVAD awareness is to distribute colorful bracelets bearing the legend "LVAD Warrior." 

     My hunch is that the bracelets draw questions.  I'll happily wear one.